Tuesday, January 21, 2014

The people you've been before

Buffet table at my cousin's baby shower
One of my many godsisters
Strephon kissed me in the spring,
Robin in the fall,
But Colin only looked at me
And never kissed at all.

Strephon's kiss was lost in jest,
Robin's lost in play,
But the kiss in Colin's eyes
Haunts me night and day. 
(The Look by Sara Teasdale.)

Adventures feel less like adventures and more like a countdown to takeoff. Waiting feels less like waiting and more like the end of the world. Songs that used to mean something else suddenly make a lot more sense, and the future is coming at me way too fast right now. Sloooow down.

Let's make time to sit around like the old days, spend hours watching the same old movies and laughing at the same dumb jokes. I'm so over it all. We've even bored the winter away. I'm already in a summer state of mind.

Drive fast and come home late, find new secret places and revisit our old ones. I want to do the things I always said I would, fit half-finished summer bucket lists into our last few months of true teenagerdom before I dive head-first into young adulthood. Bring me Outside Lands and summer dresses, beach road trips and cheap Chinese takeout for dinner three days in a row. Let's get up early and climb the roofs of our cars to watch the sun rise. Let's sleep in til the afternoon, and stay up all night the next day. I wanna be fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen for a few more moments. Let me just remember, memorize, keep the memory of how this felt because I'm never ever going to be this young again.

Arlina says relax. We've got time left to be lazy. Let's reminisce for now.


  1. This is such a beautiful post, the photos, the song, the writing. It's all so lovely! xx

  2. everything about this post words can't describe how awesome this is! followed :)